Thanks to the Internet, you can now have real-time access to fashion trends around the globe. Ever the intrepid pop culture spelunker, I present for you the Halfass Roundup of Hottt Looks From The Vienna Club Scene.

For some reason, Heile Sehonkie is a classic look in the Vienna club scene. When I lived there in ‘91, and grunge was all the rage, it seemed to work. Now that we are in the age of “dub” and beyond, White Boys With Dreds can still be seen as spiritual individuals or the guys you should to whom one should say “know where I can get any weed?”
Then you’ve got the faux New Jersey that’s pretty hot. What makes my man downright irresistable is that he’s downing a Goesser—one of my favorite cheap beers on the planet.

The Linus Torvalds and Sporty Spice look never goes out of style. This couple presents a timeless face to the world while nodding to ultra-hot cultural icons such as the inventor of Linux and the third-hottest Spice Girl

White Girl sporting the short dreds and fat ass booty look seems to clear the necessary space on the dance floor in order for her to get her moves on..

These looks scream bringing the funk with authenticity. And what’s more, that guy can whip your ass at Fussball, so don’t even try to front!

I have nothing but good things to say about the Sausage Man—this goes beyond a “look” and into a way of life: a way of life I fully condone.

You gotta give it up for the partying preppy thing the guy in the center has going.

How could you not adore the Balkan Hipster?

Roll around the Flex site. There’s plenty of good stuff to see in there. I’ve partied at Flex a few times, and it’s a hell of a good time, so I mean no ill will towards it by pointing out these interesting fashion examples and then commenting like I know what I’m talking about. Sometimes, you have to stare into the abyss.