The news is grim. A toddler, watching TV on the sofa in his apartmet suddenly lurches forward, accompanied by a loud thud. Blood poors from his head, and a perfectly round hole has been punched through the wall behind the sofa, wher the toddler’s head once was. The parents scoop him up and run with him to the car, and then to the nearby fire station.

As the reporter tells me this, a girl of fifteen, who was sitting on her steps outside of her door at the apartment complex perks up when she sees the camera. She runs forward, smiling, and flashes the one-handed “W” made by bending the two middle fingers together and folding the thumb inward. She shakes it a couple times and then laughs hysterically.

A young man has amazing seats for the Notre Dame versus Colorado bowl matchup. He and his friend scored the first row of the first “rim” around the stadium, right at the 50 yard line. As the camera pans around the lip, and stops on him, he reaches for his nipples, pulls out his sweatshirt in mock breasts and wiggles them up and down, then thrusts both hands down to his crotch and does a little dance.