During a recent all-male fishing trip to Florida, we decided to hop into a local club. Now, I’m not talking about the type of club where women take off their clothes and you give them money, although, by the looks of the staff here, that’s pretty much what was happening. Nearly all of the women working here exposed ample acreage of their anatomies and were in various states of undress, exposing innumerable black undergarments.

So we made it in just before last call. And the place was fairly jumpin’. The cool door man let us come in for free and instructed us to hit the bar ASAP.

The DJ was rockin’ some hip hop of the cheese-coated variety while polo-shirt clad conventioneer types angled for townies in halters and mullet-enabled shorties prowled the edges of the dance floor for straggling party girls. We B-lined for the bar and ordered two rounds to get in under the wire, and crowded a corner of the bar with our expanse of drinks.

I was standing there speaking to Brian, when a pretty girl came by with a tray of some sort of liquor in beakers. She asked if we wanted a shot. I was raising my hand to motion her away, when Brian said, “one, please,” and reached into his back pocket for his wallet.

While Brian was searching for the correct coinage, I noticed that this peddler of sauce in beakers selected a shot, threw her head back, and proceeded to DEEP THROAT the thing. It shocked me, but that was nothing, because what happened next, as she developed that far-off gaze of a disinterersted stripper, blew me away.

After the shot was sufficiently fellated to be moistened to some precise level of lubrication, she turned around and bent forward, exposing the area where her low-rise pants and shot-cut tank top diverged. She then proceeded to RAM THE SHOT DOWN HER PANTS AND INTO HER BUTTCRACK!

I was postively floored. Brian stood looking at the shot, until she turned her head around towards him and yelled, “take the shot!”

He removed it from her buttcrack with aplomb using his fingers, and took the shot.

Later, I saw somebody else (not in our party) partake in this bizarre ritual, but instead of ramming it in her buttcrack, she shoved it in her cleavage. The guy, apparently hip to this game, took it out with his mouth, tilted his head back to drink the booze, and then handed it back to her WITH HIS MOUTH, while the “waitress” took the beaker back WITH HER MOUTH. Their lips nearly met in the middle. I think this is the desired method of operation for this game.

This, my friends, is somebody’s job on the Redneck Riviera. She does it well. It’s postiively baffling.