My friend Chris over at bitter.net took a picture of these awesome signs that have been sprouting up around Atlanta.

Rumor has it that Ronnie Land made these, but I’m not implicating him publicly or anything. But whoever made them is one funny human.

Atlanta’s urban renewal has come to the point where the bohemians, the gay folks and the early adopters have given the inner city a safe feel for the yuppie invasion. This is intrinsic in nearly any “regentrification” and, in fact, how the process works.

Certain areas in the U.S., such as Northeast Portland, have tried to initiate programs they call “gentle regentrification,” which amount to little more than, “we were first, yuppies can die” stances by the boho/gay elite which has already swept through and purchased the $50,000 homes and driven the property values up for the original residents (and thereby their tax burden, which is the true engine of “regentrification”—see below).

It’s nice to pay lip service to maintaining diversity, controlling what businesses can go into neighborhoods, stopping one-bottle-drunk liquor stores—the usual Yuppie stuff. But until city, county and state governments can make a coordinated effort to control the property tax situation, even if you are a good witch coming into a downtrodden neighborhood (“hey, I listen to hip hop. I like Mexicans food!) and think you are generally “down with” everybody, you are still a witch.

For those who haven’t figured it out yet, property taxes, based on the value of your asset (which you haven’t converted), go up as your property’s value increases. Individuals living in lower-valued neighborhoods, with stable or depreciating property do not have to worry about a new tax bill blowing their budget. For older residents, living on fixed incomes for example, a suddenly appreciating house is a curse wrapped in a blessing. Inititally, it’s nice to see some houses get fixed up, businesses open, yuppies with dogs on leashes. But imagine a $500/month increase in YOUR bills. It’s not easy to absorb a blow like that, especially if you’re 67, living in the house you paid off 20 years ago, and collecting social security and retirement benefits. Your only option in this situation, if you cannot afford the bill, is to sell.

Some might say, “well, they won the lottery. They sold their 2 bedroom home they paid of in 1972 for $189,000!” But that’s not the point. They were forced out of their home, their neighborhood—likely seperated from their family.

DeKalb county, I believe, has placed a ceiling or limit on the amount property tax can increase for individuals of 65, but that’s only a small step. Most residents don’t know they qualify, and the process is confusing. Additionally, it only addresses this one particular instance and doesn’t address the larger problem.

My contention: the larger problem is property tax itself. But that’s another debate for another day. I believe it should be abolished.

I thought I’d leave you with this article from Willamette Week, Portland, Oregon’s main arts weekly:

The Malling of Alberta

On April 1, Northeast Alberta Street took on the appearance of a shopping mall on the verge of white-bread greatness. All the usual suspects were there, corporate monikers lovingly drawn on massive posters that had been slapped up onto empty buildings: Starbucks…coming soon! Sharper Image, Banana Republic, Nike, Gap and Abercrombie & Fitch.

But bad news for any soccer moms in the ‘hood: April Fools was written on the bottom of each sign.

It’s true that Alberta is going through a change. Longtime residents have been joined by artists, young people and low-paid workers who count on neighborhoods like Alberta for affordable housing.

For years, new restaurants and shops have been popping up on Alberta, and more are on the way. But, according to the Sabin Community Development Corporation, Starbucks, Sharper Image and the rest aren’t among them.

That leaves Roslyn Hill, the owner of Roslyn’s Coffee, scratching her head about what point the secret pranksters were trying to make. In addition to her java joint on the corner of 14th Avenue, she owns the empty building one block east where a Gap sign showed up. She is decidedly not renting space to the Gap, she says. Instead, a neighborhood food co-op and a secondhand clothing store are going into her building.

She says she isn’t bothered by the sign, though, and may leave it up for a while.

“I just think the person has a very good sense of humor,” she says, “unless it’s supposed to be a political statement, and I don’t take it that way. I think it’s kind of neat for someone to do something like that. I haven’t heard anyone complaining.”

—Patty Wentz